A Serious Case Of Selectitis  #3                                                                                              

Did you realize that God has a sense of humor?  Like the time He started unpacking insights for this new blog about “releasing”, yet one paragraph after another kept pointing back to that pesky “lean not on your own understanding” found in Proverbs 3:5-6.

I had never really entertained writing series of blogs that were connected to one another, but obviously God had other plans.  So enjoy…

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.

The Folly and Fall –

March was nearly over, yet winter and spring continued to play a rousing game of hide and seek with one another.  Spring’s lackadaisical attitude pushed me to the brink of seriously considering the purchase of light therapy boxes.  That is until a few days later I awoke to bright prisms of sunlight dancing on the walls of our bedroom.  Finally the horizon only consisted of a brilliant yellow sun proudly hanging on a backdrop of sapphire blue.  For the record, there is nothing wrong with the color winter gray, just not on a sky-sized canvas for months on end.

Anticipating an entire day bathed in the gentle restorative warmth of the sun, made me smile, even if I had to spend a few hours inside working.  Overall friends and strangers would be happier, and kinder to one another.  Even those who naturally trend toward grumpy would have little pep in their step.

Cue The Downward Spiral –  

By late afternoon the steady stream of energized customers was reduced to a trickle.  Previous shoppers who had been abuzz with last minute outdoor plans were now in vehicles heading somewhere as fast as they could.  The end of day lull was in full swing, so it made perfect sense to take advantage of it.  I grabbed the only empty box in the shop, and gathered an assortment of consignment items for donation to local charities.  After selecting a handful of items I was in the zone, and when you’re in the zone a box can practically fill itself all the way to the brim without you even noticing there might actually be a few obstacles ahead. 

To begin with the box was awkwardly large, as in it actually had a (XL) stamped on it.  Then I had filled it as close to the top as possible, thus it was encroaching on the maximum weight limit.  At least I could see that much.  I focused on the tree, and completely missed the forest. 

For grins and giggles let’s make the blog a bit interactive. Try to guess what I did next? 

1. I removed some items from the box to lighten the load.
2. I waited for someone to help me carry the box.
3. I paused the plan until I had a few smaller, more manageable boxes.
4. I asked God for wisdom.
5. I did none of the above. 

Wait! Before you answer allow me to pose a slightly leading question that might influence your answer. 

Have you ever noticed the phenomenon that occurs after you have made a foolish decision, you quickly compound it by making several more in rapid succession?  A yeah. 

If, I had selected any of the first four, this story would have never been written.   However, because I was on a roll inserting my will above all manner of reason, I definitely chose none of the above.    

The next phase of my ridiculous plan entailed rearranging the heavier glass items to evenly distribute the overall weight of the box.  I know.  I know it still would weigh the same amount, but I was too far in to turn back now.  Go ahead you have my permission to laugh, or at least shake your head.  I would love to tell you that my foolishness stopped here, but I didn’t even pause.  Why you ask.  Well, because once I moved a few key pieces around I unexpectedly created a bit more room for – a few more items.   Yes, yes I did.

I could almost hear the Lord clear his throat, and groan as He watched me lift just one corner of the box attempting to convince myself that every thing would be just fine, and I was definitely up for the box challenge.    

A Teeny Weeny Bit Of Doubt –  

It was settled, and now I turned my attention to the bulging box exit strategy.  There was a clear path to the front door, which meant there were no tripping hazards to navigate, and that was a good thing. 

However, I reluctantly had to admit that it would be really difficult for me to dead lift anything that large off the floor to a standing position.  No worries, I would simply push the problematic box toward the front of the shop, and then hoist it onto a sofa table that was strategically located by the entry door.  That way I could slide it right into my arms from a standing position, which would allow me to navigate the three concrete steps to the sidewalk with the utmost caution.  This may have worked except for one unforeseen problem.  I’m talking literally unforeseen. 

Allow me to highlight a glaring absurdity.  How many glitches are enough to stop?  I was the personification of the strong willed child with a chubby finger crammed in each ear proclaiming to God, “I can’t hear you.  I can’t hear you.” even though I could.  I kept swatting away his warnings as if they were annoying mosquitos buzzing in my ear.  Eventually after ignoring him for the umpteenth time, God became very quiet, and in the silence I felt the need to start offering justifications for my disobedience. Not pretty, definitely not pretty. 

Down She Goes –  

I’ll hit fast forward for you.  Pushed the box across the store.  Hoisted the box onto the table.  Paused, because the box was heavy.  Hello!  Slid the box off the edge of table into my arms.  Took a deep breath and cautiously began to take the first step downward toward the sidewalk. 

However, when I glanced down to check the placement of my foot on the step, to my horror I realized that I was literally walking blind.  I had not taken into account that the circumference of the box completely obstructed the view of my feet, the steps, and the sidewalk path leading toward the parking lot.  At this point the possibility of stepping backwards into the shop ended when the door closed behind me.  Clearly I was “leaning so far over into my own understanding” there was nowhere to go, but down. 

It took almost ten forever minutes to wobble down the three deep steps.  Upon reaching the sidewalk I paused briefly in an attempt to muster even a smidge of counterfeit confidence to continue the mission, although nothing had really changed.  I was still cradling an oversized box that blocked the view in front of me, but oddly enough it seemed heavier than it was before.  The logical solution would have been to stop the madness, and put the box down.  However, the reality was that if I bent over my precarious hold would snap, and I would send the box crashing to the ground, or so I thought.    

A second later the unthinkable, but predictable occurred. 

In mid-step as my foot briefly floated over the sidewalk, a driver yelled out of his window, and simultaneously honked his horn right in front of me, or perhaps it was directed at me.  Without having any visible idea what had created his extreme reaction, I became disoriented.  Although my brain screamed, “stop walking”, my feet ignored the command, and walked me right off the deep curb pitched forward like the letter (C).  I staggered for a few rapid steps desperately attempting to regain my balance, and prevent a fall, but ultimately my counter measures were not enough.  I was going down with the box. 

This is when I should have dropped the stupid box (an object can be stupid) like a hot potato in order to lessen the possibility of serious injury, however I did the exact opposite.  I clutched it even tighter to my body, and then shut my eyes just before I hit the street at full force.  In the midst of the darkness I could hear shattering glass playing a chaotic song in the background…     

Relaxing On The Side Of The Road –

After opening my eyes I struggled to comprehend what I was seeing in front of me.  The time lapse between step, stumble, and fall was faster than you can ever imagine.  One moment I was standing on the sidewalk, and the next I was sprawled in a parallel parking spot within arms reach of on-coming traffic. 

During the t-i-m-b-e-r experience there was zero time to string a single thought together, but afterward I thought about those infomercials that demonstrate “how to properly fall” in order to prevent injury.  My unscientific conclusion is that there is a vast difference between a staged fall, and a surprise fall.  By the time you open your memory bank, and locate the ‘Prevent A Fall’ file folder, you’re already kissing the ground. 

Let me describe the crash site for you.  To my right was a crushed, empty box,  All the beautiful things were ejected upon impact, and instantly transformed into a cornucopia of broken pieces of glass.  In the middle of the glass field was a silver haired woman sitting on her bum looking like she was about to smoke a peace pipe.     

Miraculously, my injuries were minor compared to what they could have been.  I had foolishly, “No let’s be honest”, I had pridefully ignored God’s many warnings, and obliterate his admonition to stop leaning into what I thought, and submit to him in all my ways.  Yet, in his mercy He protected me from my disobedient self.  I was completely humbled by his faithfulness…

Class Begins –

Once I felt steady enough to stand I rushed to the car with one thought.  I desperately needed to climb into the Father’s arms, and talk with him about what had just transpired.  On the surface this story highlights the consequences of foolish decisions, but I knew there was something deeper than a busted box, bloodied legs, and giant bruises.  

Initially, I pondered the answers to the obvious top two questions. 

Why didn’t I listen to God?  Why didn’t I release that box? 

Then as I gave space to hear his answers, my heart shifted to “Father this is exactly what it looks like when You decide our time involved with something has come to an end, and we delay releasing it by tightening our grip.”

That afternoon, before pride led me off a curb, I was stricken with a serious bout of Selectitis.  Looking back I was exhibiting all three of the major symptoms, selective hearing, selective trusting, and selective surrender.  I grieved the heart of God, because I wanted control.   

What Is The Why –   

Isaiah 55:8-9 ⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

The time between my avoidable visit with the asphalt and completing this blog was seventeen arduous months of writing, and waiting before God.  Over time I realized that no matter how many excuses I concocted to justify a delayed release when He said to let go, each of them landed squarely in the “lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him.  I am not exaggerating; every single excuse began with our limited, flawed, earthly understanding. 

 My Top Four Reasons For Delaying Release –

I have taken the liberty of compiling a short list of the most frequent responses heard leaving my lips when responding to God during seasons of release and surrender to his will, after becoming a follower of Jesus.

Oh, lest I forget to mention that unbeknownst to me I also had not one, but two huge misconceptions that hindered his truth from finding fertile soil.  These misconceptions would ultimately have an enormous impact on my ability to submit easily unto his will.  First, I did not fully understand the process and purpose of release and transition although I thought I did.  Second, there was a vast difference between ownership and stewardship. Let’s look a little deeper at each of these.

Out Of My Lips –

1. I don’t think I am hearing your voice.   
2. I need more details before I can fully commit. 
3. I don’t really want to release that right now.
4. That is not what I thought your will for my life would look.

Misconceptions –

1. I did not fully understand the process and purpose of release and transition.
2. I had never deeply pondered the difference between ownership and stewardship. 

1.  I Don’t Think I Am Hearing Your Voice –

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying “This is the way; walk in it.”

Dear friends as his redeemed lambs the undeniable truth in God’s Word to our hearts is that we know the sound of his beautiful voice.  When He speaks we unquestionably know it’s him!

The best way I can describe what it sounds like when He speaks, is probably something we have all experienced in the natural at one time or another.  Have you ever entered a room with children engaged in lively banter after consuming copious amounts of sugary snacks?  They are having fun, and fun means they do not use their inside voices, nor do they politely take turns when speaking.  Within the multiple conversation clusters it’s a free for all as hundreds of words simultaneously swirl throughout the room.  However, pretty quickly an interesting phenomenon begins to unfold.  You become acclimated to the volume, and the cacophony of random words ricocheting back and forth blends together as one sound.   

That is until somewhere in the room, your child begins to speak.  Suddenly, somehow the sound of his voice will be heard over the low roar of all the others.  In that moment even though the room is loud, it seems quiet.  His voice is the only distinct one you can hear.  You would know it anywhere, because you are attune to the voice of the one you love.   Yes, it’s that simple.  Never doubt it. 

2.  I Need More Details Before I Can Fully Commit –

Usually like most sheep I willingly trot behind my Shepherd surrendering with relative ease to his desires and directions, as long as the sacrifice doesn’t seem too difficult or unpleasant.  Yet, on other occasions I have also been the sheep lollygagging at a safe distance not quite certain about where He is leading me, because I required (drum roll please) more information.     

I remember as a newbie in Christ I found deep solace in the story of Gideon, and his need for confirmation by way of a fleece on several occasions.  Gideon was a judge, warrior, and prophet.  I on the other hand was an eighteen-year-old freshly clean, but incredibly ignorant sheep.  I concluded that if Gideon needed a few fleeces, then surely the Lord would grant a baby believer many more.  So I became a prolific fleecer.

Slowly over time our patient Father would help me to realize that obtaining additional details had become a caveat before I would completely trust him.  Additional information was the safety net underneath my developing trust and faith in him.  Together we would dismantle the safety net one trust moment at a time, until He was all that remained.  Actually when you think about it, having a plethora of details doesn’t build a whole lot of faith or trust does it?   

Let me interject one last observation.  Our Creator knows every minute detail of all things created and unfolding.  He would never withhold a single detail that He thought we needed to know.  So, if He doesn’t reveal certain steps of the journey, then obviously we don’t need to know them.   Rest in that truth my friends.

3.  I Don’t Really Want To Release That Right Now –

The simple yet blunt reason we delay release and surrender is that we just don’t like what He is saying.  We hope that the situation might change, or that the Father will simply change his mind about what He desires.  

In my case I viewed yielding to his timeline, as a divine suggestion that also included when (I) thought the best time to release something would be.  Every single time I blew past his perfect timeline I could almost hear him say, “Okay for a while I’ll let you have it your way (scary words to hear), but this is how far I told you to go with that, and now you will get to carry it in your own strength, not mine.  

I can’t even imagine the depth of his sorrow when on occasion I delayed my “yes response” for six months, a year, or even two?  However, I can speak to how it felt when I entered the gates of “Willful Disobedience”.  That assignment that He earlier told me to put down became a joyless, backbreaking burden until I surrendered to his will.   

When the Father tells us it’s time to place something back in his hands, He desires a loving hand off, not a tug of war. 

4.  That Is Not What I Thought Your Will For My Life Would Look Like –  

2 Peter 3:9 ⁹ The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Why have I heard his voice directing me, but then attempted to marry his will to fit what I want his will to be for my life?  You know sometimes we can titter on the edge of being bratty children.  We want his will over our life to be pleasant with relatively few difficulties, and struggles.  We want the meadows and not the mud. 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need a “revelation reminder” of what “his will” truly means.  The umbrella of his will is the same for each and every one of us.  It’s to expand the population of his flock on earth one lost sheep at a time.  At the beginning, middle and end of every single day, it is always about his desire that none should perish.  His desperate heart of love beats for those still waiting to meet him, and that means He will even remove us or move us wherever He needs us to be for the soul of another.  It’s not about me.  It’s about them!

1. I Did Not Fully Understand The Process And Purpose Of Release And Transition –

It’s intriguing to me the plethora of misconceptions that surround how God views the changes that He ordains in the lives of his kids, and how we view the changes He initiates. 

1 Samuel 15:22 He desires obedience over sacrifice.

Obedience to the process of release, and transition is the Father will for each of us.  However, the liar of all liars will attempt to convince us that the Lord is recalibrating part of our lives, because our previous assignment no longer has value to him or worse we have failed God.  That lie couldn’t be farther from God’s truth, because nearly every time He directs us to release something, it’s the first giant step toward transitioning to something else.

Initially, we focus on the released thing and the individuals connected to it.  We feel all the feels, gather the opinions of man, and then sometimes we even counter God’s desire with our flawed perspective of the matter.  We forget that God’s reasons and timing are his, and not ours.  Man calls this temporary amnesia.  I wonder what God calls it? 

There is no denying that the process of releasing the known and stepping toward the unknown path of transition can weigh heavy on the heart.  However, our sorrow should quickly give way to an eager anticipation, and dare I say excitement over our next assignment from him. 

The process of releasing what God had previously selected for your life can encompass anything between a plan, project or position and a person, place, or thing. 

Uniquely Made For Unique Assignments –

Ephesians 2:10 ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Never forget that you are uniquely made, for unique assignments from God.  You are like an original piece of art created by God and authenticated by the name of Jesus.  There are no duplicates or numbered prints of you.  You are tailored made in his image for specific things and people who have need.  Think about it He saw their need, and then He created you.    

He does not send out a nation wide cattle call with hundreds or thousands of applicants vying for a specific project.  On the contrary, there are no names; except for the one individual He created to fulfill this assignment.  The Father searches the vastness of humanity and creates the exact sheep to send on his behalf.  It is (you) He has equipped!  It is (you) He desires to use! 

This is what release and transition actually sound like.

You obeyed me and traveled this way, and now I need you to go that way.

You honored me with this gift, and now I need to honor me with that gift.

You carried that burden long enough, and now I need you to put it down.  

You nurtured this relationship, and now I need you to pursue that relationship.

You influenced this group of people, and now I need you to influence that group of people.

You created this for me then, and now I need you create something different.

2.  I Had Never Deeply Pondered The Difference Between Ownership And Stewardship –

With all that He taught me, I knew there was still an all-important missing element.  That missing piece was actually the pivotal piece that all aspects of surrendering to release, change, and transition hinge upon.  The root reason why we bristle and delay letting go of something in order to pursue something else He desires for us to accomplish for him is that we are confused about who owns what.

Psalm 50:10-12 ¹⁰ for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.¹¹ I know every bird in the mountains, and the insects in the fields are mine.

He owns everything.  Those three powerful words will rapidly realign our thoughts, motives and desires.  He owns everything.  As in there is only one, single name listed on the title as owner – Jesus.

God Has A Perfect Plan –

He knows every minute detail it will take to execute his perfect plan.

He searches and then selects you to assist him in executing his perfect plan.  

After your yes response, our Heavenly Father will release his perfect plan to you.

You are not the creator nor the owner of his perfect plan. 

You are simply a seasonal steward of his perfect plan.

In Closing –

Just in case you are still troubled with your ability to answer with a quicker “yes”, let me share one story from the Word.  There are many other examples in the scriptures waiting for you to discover them.      

Contained in Matthew 4:18-22 is the story of Jesus calling Peter and Andrew, then James and John to “come follow me”.  Each set of brothers as recorded in scripture responded immediately by dropping their nets and then following him.   

It’s worth noting during his invitation to the brothers, Jesus did not say, “Boys feel free to talk amongst yourselves, weigh the pros and cons of following me, and then get back with me by weeks end with your decision.”  

Their instant “yes” to him was based on only one fact.  Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah and that was all they needed to know.  Eventually they would witness his power to heal, deliver, and perform miracles.  Eventually, they would encounter his compassion, mercy and love, yet they committed to follow him on his journey without knowing any of the details between their yes, and his death. 

Dear ones He is our Messiah as well, and that is all we truly need to know in order to say, “Yes.”    

Our Creator knew his beloved creation would ultimately need a Savior.  Thus, He created a solution for our sin, and then executed the exact plan for our redemption thousands, and thousands of years ago.  Let’s not forget that there is also a heavenly retirement community with a mansion waiting for us as well. 

If, He can do all that, then I am absolutely, unequivocally certain that He is capable of directing each and every step during our life journey.  Really when you stop and think about it, why would we ever hesitate to surrender our will to his will?  

Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways submit to him, and He will make your crooked paths straight.

Until next time,

Wen

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Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.

1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart
2. Lean not on your own understanding
3. In all your ways submit to him
4. He will make your paths straight 

This is a familiar passage from God’s living word, but have you ever wondered if it has reached “too familiar” status?  We get jazzed about God’s part, “He will make your paths straight”, however when I lean into the verses that pertain to me, it is that word, “all” which gives me pause every time.

What does “all” even look like?  How do we even know when we have trusted to the very borders of our heart where “all” resides? Could it be that over time we have been lulled into believing that a lesser percentage of trust, actually feels like “all” in our heart?

Before moving forward, please allow me to share one incredible observation that begs to be highlighted.  If, living Proverbs 3:5-6 with God were impossible, then He would never have admonished it, and then gifted us a promise when we achieved it. Oh how I hope this fills your heart with encouragement and joy.   

The Yellow Carriage –

I pulled back the slightly faded linen curtains and surveyed the New York skyline.  Dark clouds heavily pregnant with rain threaten to alter afternoon plans with the son.  Scrumptious food, outdoor markets, and a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art were on the docket, and rain was not.

I quickly finished getting ready, and then schlepped (no other way to describe it) down five flights of stairs to hail a yellow carriage.  Within a few minutes without a single whistle, or flapping my arms like a chicken the carriage stopped before me.  The coachman opened my door, and then with the slightest nod of his head confirmed the luncheon destination.  Spoiler alert – these opening pleasantries would ultimately be the high point of our journey.    

Full disclosure – When traveling via taxi in Manhattan, there are a few important things you need to know.  Slow and steady does not win the race, caution lights trigger jet propulsion thrusters, and red lights are mere suggestions to be ignored.  Thus, when we lurched forward into a non-existent traffic lane I was wary, but not entirely surprised.  The gentle mist was now a steady drizzle. 

Twenty minutes later I stood triumphantly on a sidewalk extremely grateful to deeply breath in the sweet aroma of rain. What occurred between those opening pleasantries, and sidewalk breathing is what I call the “mushy middle”.  

After, I heard the click of the seat belt, I quickly surveyed the interior of my carriage, and then immediately wanted to unfasten it, and run all the way to the restaurant.  It seemed that the taxi driver thought he was racing in the Indy 500, and his vehicle of choice was an absolute schmutz fest of unidentifiable crumbs, smeared greasy hand prints, and a film of dusty, stickiness on every surface imaginable.  All of that would have been barely tolerable as long as I held my hands in the air like a surgeon.  However, the absolute worst thing was that the cab smelled like a sweaty locker room left to ferment for months in the summer boiling heat.  I rotated between holding my breath until I wanted to pass out, and then deeply inhaling noxious gases that could singe your nose hairs.       

In retrospect it’s not difficult to identify the part I played in this travel debacle.  I was in a hurry to get to my destination and allowed impatience to take the lead.  Thus I chose the first and ultimately worst option available to me.  Yep, this was a prime example of “lean not on your own understanding.”

As, I look back it’s hard to believe that this was how one of the most important God days of my life began…

Sometimes what looks like an inconvenience or interruption is actually an intervention orchestrated by God to reveal something to us…

A Father Daughter Stroll –

After, I had inhaled plenty of fresh air, and my adrenaline surge subsided, I completed my journey toward the restaurant on foot.  Upon arrival I exchanged my name for a buzzer, and then joined my fellow hungry wall huggers huddled together under a velvet green canopy. 

I leaned against the wall content to watch the flow of strangers across the street. I saw everyone, but focused on no one.  Then, as if a photographer adjusted the aperture of his camera, I noticed a father/daughter duo, Stroller Dad and Adorable Daughter.  Their lives were about to briefly brush the edges of mine, but their impact would remain forever.  God would use their intimate exchange with one another to reveal the purest form of what “trust with all your heart” looks like to him. 

It Looks Like The Trust Of A Child –   

Initially, they captured my attention, because they were traveling at a much slower pace than the average rushed NYC walker.  The effect on the approaching pedestrian traffic behind them looked similar to what occurs in the middle lane of an interstate.  When the power walkers drew near the dawdling duo they would split to the left and right, and then cut back into the middle lane once they passed them.  Of course no turning signals were used for any of these maneuvers.       

Then, as if an orchestra conductor lowered his baton signaling the opening movement of the symphony to burst forth in sound, the clouds ripped open to empty their contents.  In the blink of an eye barely polite New Yorkers morphed into a compact mass of black umbrellas with legs that could barely move.  That is except for the unfortunate curb walkers who lost their balance and then tumbled into ankle deep rushing water.    

Stroller Dad was unfazed; his demeanor was completely different from the other frenzied walkers.  Though sandwiched in the middle of irritated, wet humans, he was calm yet alert as he moved his head left to right, and back again in an effort to avoid a human/stroller collision.  As a father his responsibility was to protect his child from dangers only he could see while navigating her journey.   

At this point with the stroller top pulled down, Little Miss who looked to be about three years old could no longer see her dad.  The only view in front of her consisted of a walking wall of legs on all sides.  Not only could she not see her father, but the deafening wail of emergency sirens and honking horns rendered anybody outside incapable of hearing their own thoughts, let alone someone speaking to them.  Sadly, there was no way Adorable Daughter could even hear her father’s comforting voice yet just like her father she was unaffected by the chaos of the crowd. 

The blessing of “Trust with all your heart” is peace.  

Actually, in that moment it was I who became overwhelmed after realizing what was actually unfolding before me.  This was not a lesson about enduring an unpleasant encounter, or avoiding obstacles.  It was about trusting her/our Father completely when faced with obstacles.

As, I marveled at what was unfolding, suddenly Stroller Dad stopped inching his way through the crowd all together.  In that moment I thought the benefit of having a giraffe’s neck would’ve been incredibly useful. 

What was wrong?  Why did he stop?  What had changed?

Without hesitation I abandoned the safety of the protective covering, and boldly stepped out to battle the pouring rain armed with my utterly useless mini umbrella.  I walked a few feet down the sidewalk until I was exactly parallel and in front of daddy/daughter.  It was absolutely imperative that I have an unobstructed view of what was unfolding.  God was teaching me something, and there was no way I was going to miss one minute of this class.   

As, if they were the only two in the entire world, Dad calmly shimmied his way toward the front of the stroller, and then bent down so his face was all she could see.  Darling Daughter immediately radiated pure joy as her little arms reached for him.  Lovingly he caressed her chubby cheeks and then moved closer to whisper something in her ear.  As, if responding to what he said, she scooted back a bit in her stroller, and then (wait for it) he draped a blankie over her face and arms.  A wall of legs no longer surrounded Little Miss; instead she was now surrounded with a blanket that completely obstructed her view of everything.  Yes, my face was wet, but not from the rain.   

In the next few minutes I was captivated by what she was not doing, as much as by what she was doing.  Then for the first time in my life I talked to the restaurant buzzer still tightly gripped in my hand, “You better not vibrate right now, because I will have to ignore you.” It was imperative that I discover exactly what Adorable Daughter would do next.  I could almost hear God say, “Keep watching.  Keep Watching.”

I wondered if the excruciatingly slow pace, and the increased anxiety level of the crowd would cause her to fling the blanket off of her head and face?  She never turned around in the stroller seeking comfort, and affirmation from Dad that all was still well like I have?  No and No.  

In case you are wondering if she had fallen asleep. That would be a “no”, because occasionally, I could see her little hand pop up, and then wave to people she couldn’t see.   

Carriage Princess never even lifted a small corner of her blanket for just an itty-bitty reassuring  peak that they were still on the right path like I have done.  Don’t even get me started on the fact that she did not whine or pitch a fit, because she was tired of the journey like I have.  That precious little lady never did any of the things I have done. 

She wasn’t concerned about her safety.  She wasn’t concerned about what others were doing around her.  She wasn’t concerned about her father’s ability to navigate their situation.  She totally, completely, unquestionably trusted her father in the midst of the unknown. 

Let the Massive Dose Of Pondering Begin –

Over the next few months it seemed at every turn God highlighted countless “trust moments” that occurred between parents and their children.  Friends, don’t ever doubt that when our Heavenly Father desires something to be deeply rooted in our heart, He will reaffirm it until we get it.       

Here are a few of the child like trust moments that God showed me during my crash course on total trust.  I could share more, but I know He will highlight examples tailored just for you…

*Watching the wobbly first step of a young child as he begins to walk into outstretched, loving arms.  Falling after a few steps was not a thought in his mind.  Doubting if his chubby feet were wide enough to hold him up was not a thought in his mind.  Doubting if he could actually do it again, because he might be a one-step wonder, never crossed his mind.   

*Watching a training wheel graduate embarking on his maiden voyage into the two-wheeled world, as his Father sprints alongside him prepared to assist if necessary.  The future Tour De France winner never doubted if his father had the stamina to keep up, or if his reaction time would be quick enough to catch him.     

*Finally, I remember watching our son eagerly climb into his father’s arms for the first time so he could sling shot said child into the air without a kiddie parachute.  For five memorable lifetime seconds Airborne Jordan squealed with delight with his arms spread wide. There was not a shred of doubt that his father’s arms weren’t strong enough to catch him no matter how many times he excitedly yelled, “Do it again daddy, do it again!”

Trusting with your whole heart makes you brave enough to trust the very first time. 

Mind Blown –

Without any debate, we know that children are the most vulnerable among us, yet their extreme vulnerability does not equate to the same amount of caution.  It’s actually quite the opposite.  The Lord created each of us with the capacity to “totally trust with all our heart” in the countless “first time moments” that occur during our entire life.  When you think about it, a child is quite literally the original, perfect example of a “first time trustee.”   Naturally, the second step, second bicycle ride sans training wheels, and the second time tossed into the air takes a little less trust, simply because it worked the first time.  Might I delicately suggest that this may be the innocent beginning of “leaning into our own understanding”?  Perhaps when we do so too often, we exchange initial trust in him for initial trust in ourselves.    

However!  But!  Yet!  Although!  Nonetheless, according to Proverbs 3:5-6 we have the capacity to trust in the Lord with all our heart at any age.  

The Wrap Up –

A child totally trusts their earthly father, who loves, comforts, protects, provides, encourages, guides, teaches, and even corrects him, even though their trust experience with him is but a handful of years. 

So what about you, and I? 

Honestly, I must conclude that it should be easy to “totally trust in the Lord with all your heart” because, first of all He loved us enough to send Jesus as a sacrifice for us so we may live forever with him.  Yet, He didn’t stop there.  Every single day He showers us with love, comfort, guidance, protection, compassion, encouragement, provision, knowledge, and even on occasion tender correction. 

The Most Import Thing –

Father, sometimes I woefully struggle to trust you with my whole heart.  As, You know I can vacillate between total trusting, selective trusting, and delayed trusting.  Thank you for your constant, unwavering patience and mercy when I pull out my “need additional information notebook” as a prerequisite to total trust. 

Father, I long to “trust with all my heart”, as you described in Proverbs 3:5-6.  I’m asking You to quickly speak, and if need be yell above ever other voice when I am drifting into partial trust, which I know also means I have entered “lean into my own understanding” territory. 

Father, Help me to live in such a way that encourages others to trust in You with all their heart as Savior, Deliver, Provider, Protector, Healer, and King… 

Father, I am humbly grateful that eight years ago on a rainy summer day You used Stroller Dad, and Adorable Daughter to teach me what complete trust looks like.  Every single breathtaking moment that unfolded before me is forever seared in my heart.        

Until next time,

Wen

Here is what God was and still is speaking to me today and beyond.

Tell Me To Come To You!

Matthew 14:22-32 25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Max the Runaway

Day One – The text read, “Max escaped from his dog sitter today, and now he is missing. He has a nametag, but no chip. We are hoping some how he finds his way back to his real home.”

We responded with an offer of assistance and a promise to often walk around their home and our neighborhood while calling out “Max” at the top of our lungs. His human momma promised to update us, and we her.

As you may have guessed Max and his human family of four live next door to us. They were but a few days into their dream vacation in Puerto Rico when Max decided he was not interested in an extended sleep over at his uncle’s house that was located 35 minutes away in a small rural community surrounded by acres, and acres of untouched forest.

Max chose the first, windy snowfall of the season to launch his great escape. Did I mention that his inseam is a whopping six-inch and his belly skims the ground when he walks? I’m not dogging his physique (pun intended), but within two doggy steps in the snow Max is just a little snout sniffing at the air. Apparently in his bravado he had forgotten he was no bigger than a cat.

Day Two – Max was still on the lamb, and had endured outside temperatures that never climbed above 30 degrees all night long. His momma sent a text update with a mug shot photo of Max the Fugitive along with his vital information.

At some random point in the early afternoon, it was my turn to search for Max. After, exhausting all possible doggy hideaways, I began to talk to God about the situation. Here is a portion of my petition for Max.

“Father, You sent angels to the earth sharing good tidings of great joy. Angels warred on behalf of your people, and many times they were messengers of warning, direction, and instruction. I know Max is just a pampered dog whose intelligence is obviously under question at this time, but would You please send an angel to rescue Max and guide him back to the safety of his home.”

At that moment I was overflowing with faith for Max, and I heard myself declare out loud, “I believe that an angel can scoop him up and plop him right down in his own front yard. Use this miracle for Max as a witness to his family of your love, and compassion.

Suddenly, the wind began to whip the leafless tree limbs announcing rain was imminent. I looked skyward at the foreboding clouds, full of faith expecting to possibly see an angel bringing Max home.

Day Three – An AccuWeather Alert in red flashed a 24-hour flood warning that encompassed our area and the last known location of Max. That wasn’t a problem for God, because obviously, He can locate Max, and protect him from the rising water.

After checking the radar for updates a break in the rain was in the forecast. Garrett and I had what we thought was a brilliant idea, since we knew the address where Max had somehow out maneuvered his dog-sitter. Our plan was to slowly drive around the area while I leaned out of the window calling out his name while tightly gripping a secret weapon in my right hand. Even if the little jailbird was skittish, nothing says, “Trust Us” like a handful of warm rotisserie chicken.

Full of excitement we quickly loaded the car with a few supplies, and then headed out to search for Max. Unfortunately, before we reached the end of our road it began to sprinkle. No problem! The rapid fluctuation in the weather would not be a deterrent to us. We were on a mission, so we simply turned the volume on our GPS to maximum ensuring that we wouldn’t miss a single instruction. Right here there is so much to be said. Let me simply sigh….

With each mile we traveled the weather conditions steadily worsened. Think two lane roads that twist and turn like a rollercoaster ride in complete wooded darkness. Talk about the opposite of fun. After, we traveled for about 25 minutes a tunnel of heavy road level fog settled in, and made it impossible to safely navigate unknown roads. The difficult decision was made to abort our search and rescue mission.

Garrett then managed to maneuver quite an impressive u-turn on a shoulder less road, while I stared into the eerie fog covered forest. When the GPS rudely interrupted my thoughts an instant collision occurred between my faith and the reality of what I saw before me. Though I remained silent, the brutal ugly truth would not be. Max could have in all likelihood already passed away. How could he survive in this wilderness under such terrible conditions?

Once we arrived home I went to bed with a heavy heart grieving.

Day Four – I awoke at 7:30am to the sound of pelting rain, again. I sighed, and resolved that I needed to make peace with the fact that there would not be a positive outcome where Max was concerned. The search and rescue mission had officially been called off.

At 11:30am the anticipated fatal update from Puerto Rico announced it self with a cellphone ping. I hurriedly turned to leave the room, only to be startled by Garrett’s outburst. He excitedly began to read the text message aloud, “After 4 days lost, Max has been found and rescued. Thank you for your prayers. It truly is a miracle”!

My first feelings were absolute pure joy.
My first words were overflowing praise, and thanksgiving.
My first thought after those were, “Dear Lord, I am just like Peter!”, UGH!

Sadly, even though God had granted me extraordinary faith to believe, and pray that despite all odds Max would be rescued, eventually I found myself quite literally sinking into “little faith” territory just like Peter did. UGH! UGH!

On the first day I absolutely believed that God would launch a supernatural mission to locate Max, but three days later I was equally convinced that he could not have survived the hunger, predators, and severe freezing temperatures. It pains me to point out the obvious, but a few hours before my prayers for a supernatural miracle occurred, I had given up believing for that miracle.

Needless to say I’ve been reminded that sometimes the distance between great faith, little faith, and no faith isn’t as far as we hope it is.

Peter had “great faith” for a supernatural miracle as he began his water walk toward Jesus.
Peter also had “little faith” after he shifted his focus to the natural reality of his circumstances.
Eleven followers had “no faith”, because they didn’t even put a single, hairy toe into the choppy water.

Honestly, I think initially we are full of supernatural faith from God for something or someone. We believe, pray, and wait in eager anticipation for what God will do. However, there comes a moment, or usually several moments when we ever so slightly shift our focus from Jesus and what He promised – to all the “natural reasons” that it might not come to pass soon, or at all. Here are a few reasons this may occur.

What causes a slight shift of focus?

Sometimes it’s the heaviness of living out life.
Sometimes it’s the length of time-spent waiting.
Sometimes it’s the urgent “right now” before us.
Sometimes it’s the lack of faith expressed by others.
Sometimes it’s the stronger storm surge than we anticipated.
Sometimes it’s someone else receiving what we are still waiting to receive.
Sometimes it’s the enemy pointing out how disappointed God is when our faith begins to ebb.

Then there is this!

Everything Is Possible – Help Me To Overcome My Unbelief!

Mark 9:22-24
22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”23 “‘if you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

My friends please don’t miss the magnitude of these few verses between Jesus and a father, on behalf of his demoniac son. His words, “if you can” to Jesus did not illicit an angry, offended response or rebuke from Jesus. He simply answered, “Everything is possible for one who believes”.

Can you feel the anguish gushing forth from the father’s heart captured in the next eight revealing words? I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!

This cry is my cry unto God for 2024

What I’m Asking God Throughout 2024 –
I’m asking God to often perform a faith checkup on me
I’m asking God to highlight specific areas where my faith may have dropped to “little faith” level.
I’m asking God to identify when and why “little faith” or “unbelief” has crept in.

What I’m Asking Myself Throughout 2024 –
Do I continue to pray as fervently, and often for that long awaited answer?
Do I continue to daily awaken believing that “today” I will see God’s answer?
Do I believe that it will happen one day, but probably not today?

What I’m Asking for Friends Throughout 2024 –
An increase of supernatural faith, and the fulfillment for what you have waited to see.

What I’m Asking from Friends Throughout 2024 –
An increase of supernatural faith, and the fulfillment for what I have waited to see.

In closing –

This past year I have been extremely inspired, and deeply impacted by the stories of Daniel, Peter, Anna and Simeon. Each of their stories I selected randomly, or so I thought. Ultimately I discovered they were timely and God selected.

Each of them walked out their supernatural faith with boldness even during adversity and waiting. They did not waiver when their faith was tested, or questioned. Regardless of circumstance, culture, or sin level in the world they occupied and lived as they prayed and believed.

Why does this matter?

Daily we are bombarded with complex problems, and human brokenness that boggle the human mind. Oh dear ones now more than ever the world is searching for direction and answers to what they see and do not understand.

Forgive me if I sound like a broken record, but I know we are now fully living in the “Only God” season. Man for all of his wisdom cannot meet our needs or offer a natural solution to what ails so many. We are enrolled in the ‘School of Dependency’ as we increasingly must rely on God as our true source for nearly everything.

As followers of Christ we must believe that God is able and willing to provide an answer, direction, and intervention in supernatural, miraculous ways. He always has. He always will.

We must believe it. So we can share it.

Much love,

Wendy